My parents are here! In New York City...for Christmas...it means everything to me. I miss home and miss my parents and being around family and people who KNOW my heart and care for me. NYC is hard...Broadway is hard...this World is hard and there is so much happening. Having family with me in this city I'm living and working in is grounding and helps me remember WTF I am. My parents are so special. God really was on something when They created my parents. I'm so proud and blessed to be apart of THIS family...I could have been born in any other circumstance...Though its nowhere near perfect...Chile we are all a mess...but it's a beautiful mess...and God Bless it!
I can't help but think about Jesus and death and the world...and the people of this world...and the collective energy of us humans and how messed up it is. I keep thinking about my purpose and how I want to spend my life...and fulfilling or at least living in my purpose here. I've never felt more ready to just DO IT. LIVE fully in the reason why I am here and experience HEAVEN ON EARTH. I have tasted and seen how good God is. I have been carried by the Lord throughout my life and my mind never ceases to amaze me with HOW GOOD GOD has been in my life. From when I was on the mountain peak to the lowest valley...to the driest dessert to the crispest rainforest...Wherever I go, I meet Him there. Alpha & Omega. It is not like a human being...we are so flawed and easily driven... by fleeting things. I want to anchor my soul in the Most High. I yield to the Divine Architect. The Creator of Heaven & Earth. The Gears to the ever rotating Universe.
What is God?
Is it the Impersonal All Conscious Isness?
Or Personal Beneficial Confidant & Friend & Teacher of Beingness?
Or is it both and everything in between?
I'm feeling real deep right now. Just like the Capricorn that I be. We dwell in the the deep dark waters of consciousness with the merpeople and sirens or the sea...
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just recorded a musical improv idea on my phone...
I'm learning how to use my voice...I have the tools and techniques and I have life experience to shape it...i'm excited about this coming year...I'm about to BLOW UP!
Activate and Energize in a whole new way...wow...and its not just because I'm turning 40...PHEW! But WHEW!! 40. I am turning 40. I'm 39 right now...I'm feeling it creep up...its so significant...it feels like Goddesszilla tip toeing...I feel like i'm going to be unstoppable...I'm a little anxious...super anxious but also so so excited in the best way! Its like everything that I have learned in my 20s and 30s are complete and now its time to not only execute the wisdom but also be open to the wisdom of the 40s to illuminate.
Illuminate. Thats the word for 40. or at least for 39 on December 26. In my mind I've actually already turned 40 but its not official until January...then I can GO THE VUG OFF! Oooh the concerts the things I've planted in so many journals...the tablets I've written down shows in detail...Will finally become manifest! Evrything Ive been prepared for will be go time.
My heart is full is not only the possibilities but the fulfillments of the plans that were whispered to me in dreams.
Phew....goodnight.
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