I widely woke up at 4:47am to the powerful thunderous Malibu winds. They called me to observe their power so I creeped to the window in the living room and I saw the trees dancing wildly! Yet the chairs were undisturbed. The winds represent change, transition, destruction and chaos. It makes sense that the end of such a torrential year would end like this.
I have been in Los Angeles for One Year and One week today. During this year, I faced so many inner shadows/demons/blocks. There was GREAT GROWTH this year but it only came from GREAT ADVERSITY. I have cried more this year in LA than my years in NYC combined. I've lost myself, got lost in others and found myself. I felt trapped living in situations that were uncomfortable, extremely welcoming & extremely unwelcoming.
I felt the pain of the collective. Dove into self healing, shadow work, and sitting in discomfort. I've discovered my limits and realized that I am actually never really alone.
UGH, this year didn't go as planned. I ended up living with my boyfriend in Malibu the first half and living in a dark cold tense shared home filled with cats the second half. I had no car or job this entire year. I still feel like a stranger to LA, but as I quarantined in this new city for a year, I got so close to myself. I realized I thought I knew myself but I was so distracted that there were parts of me that went unnoticed. And this year I was able to face them.
As this year comes to a close, I have employment prospects, hope again, a new better flexible living arrangement, faced and overcame difficult confrontations...GOSH...I even had COVID and overcame it! My family and all my close friends stayed safe and healthy...my God, what a terrible year but I am a witness of God's Grace. Alleluia!
I've learned that:
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