Allison Semmes, Inc.

God Bless Temp Work. It's an opportunity to sit down at a desk and be selectively productive, meet new people, and serve in a momentary way. Today I'm temping at a Philanthropic Fund and there is a large conference happening with everyone for training and interviews happening as well. The kitchen is pretty largely stocked and the people are super nice...with an exception of a few rotten apples in the bunch but because I will NEVER EVER EVER see these people again, I feel healthily detached. Those who are kind and we have a lovely connection with is a passing blessing. Those who don't are like flies at a picnic...hehehe....I'm learning to not be so attached and accept things as the transient things that they are. 

Anywho, the idea of sitting at a screen in a work environment is lovely because it gives me time to sit and really evaluate what is important and what is part of the Business of ME. I am not only a receptionist of this company but it opens my eyes to how I can be a receptionist in the company of ME. What am I receiving, how am I distributing information, how am I managing the flow. I  am reminded how to be a gainful employee and employer of Allison Semmes, Inc. 

This is a whole mindset shift, I feel like I should have done it years ago...but better late than never. 

*Sigh* 

Baby's FIRST commercial

Wow...I just shot my first commercial ad with Macy's! And I am a SAG-AFTRA member now. I feel so accomplished! The shoot was yesterday and it was a whole new exciting world. I felt like a model...well, because I WAS one...I am a model. It's hard for me to grasp this but I am. And I think the camera likes me! We had three looks and we filmed each one on three different locations in the iconic DUMBO, and then had some "stills" in the same location. I can't wait to see them!! I was finally apart of the camera crews that I would see on the streets on NY! Someone was there to stop the flow for traffic as I had a camera crew of about 8 people along with a black van of about 5 people watching the work from a screen inside. WOW! As the day progressed, I got more self conscious but then I got more comfortable in front of the camera. I'm so excited to know that this is a world that I can thrive in! And what a HELLOVA first commercial experience-MACY'S - a HUGE brand! Although, in actuality my first real commercial (non-union) was for Black Opal fade cream when I was right out of school. That kinda felt like an I love Lucy Vitameatavegimen commercial--hahah without getting drunk lol...gosh, that reminded me of how much I LOVE Lucille Ball. Like I literally LOVE LUCY! She was such a HAM and was one of my main HAM inspirations!
Anyway, I'm ignited by the new world of commercial that I've stepped into and I can't wait to see where I go in it! I'm trusting in myself more and more everyday. By 2020, I should be unstoppable!!

From the hills of Idaho to Times Square

Whoa...
What TF just happened?????
A whirlwind has just happened and I managed to land fully intact to tell the story! This is unbelievable. My life sometimes is unbelievable. I hear the voice of my mother in my head and over the phone saying in her Black Italian Jewish South Side voice, "I hope you're writing about this". Even my Pops, over the phone, "you're journaling still?" in his cool collected voice peppered with a little excitement.  "Yes! I am..." if you count jotting about a crazy excursion that I just encountered in a few sentences and abruptly aborting it to get off the train, send a text or scroll aimlessly through IG for no particular reason.
So I just made a cup of coffee, found a cozy nook, a stimulating yet relaxing soundtrack, fed the cat, watered the plants, took out the trash, washed the dishes, and charged my laptop, so I have NO reason to be distracted (hopefully) to TELL the COMPLETE tale of WTF just happened this past month in a nutshell!

SO!
It all began in Red Bank, New Jersey with a small cast of shining Black actors who were the most...shiny and self contained, nuanced and delicately balanced with crazy and calm. I told the story of OoBlaDee, with Ruben Santiago Hudson, written by Regina Taylor about a girl Virginia August from Tuscaloosa who decided that she was going to take her destiny into her OWN damb hands and not wait in a "small room with a ticking clock" for her man to return from War, but to answer the telegram she received to join a traveling all women's jazz band. Playing her sax gives her freedom, it "lifts her into the air". So she hops on a train and the story of her meeting these extraordinary women who, too, have left their individual stories to follow their passion and make music. Throughout the course of their journey from St. Louis to Chicago, Gin Del Sol (thats the new name she gave herself, along with her new identity of being Creole -Momma New Orleans, Daddy Cuban by way of Spain---a Beyonce of the 40's in a sense!) she consorts with the Moon- Mother Time aka Amber Iman, arguing questioning lamenting the way time unfolds, pausing time, escaping yesterday, looking towards tomorrow, never fully present. When her man returns and finds her about to play the solo that will "blow a hole in the sky", she has to choose between finding her voice and stepping into this new life or returning to the life she always knew with the man who she loves but feels trapped with. She chooses her life as a musician...he leaves and gets lynched on the way home. Through the tragedy, she has to make the decision, does she fall apart or keep going? In the end, she keeps going, plays her note as a transformed woman, and "ascends" to a singing bowl.

DEEP RIGHT???!

In the meantime, Allison is figuring out her own DAMB voice in the mix of this process, working with all these seasoned actors and trying to be chill working with this movie Tony winning director, slaying off the demons that whisper to her that she's not enough, and mixing it with her recharging and "Earthing" outside her cast apartment on the grassy hill by the river bank, consorting with the clouds, water, marine birds, groundhogs, lightning bugs, and butterflies, and girlfriend hangs with the cast. It was the perfect balance of Work and Rest. Just a NJ transit ride away from the stinky bustling city. On top of it, figuring out WHERE TF in the city she is going to live after this fairy tale of a project. Why? because I'm always subletting. I haven't had a year lease in years.

Long story short, my dear friend Roberta (Australian by way of South Italy) opens her Williamsburg apartment to me with a room that opens to a terrace and I crash there until I find my Crown Heights sublet, that happens to be across the street from where I used to live before I got Motown tour. (my most luxurious apartment in Brooklyn and shortest sublet). As soon as I returned back to NYC in my Williamsburg pad, I went immediately back to rehearsals for a girl group concert in the gorgeous Sun Valley Idaho, at the same time that my beloved was there for his family reunion, which happened to be in the town next to Sun Valley!! WTH!? So not only do I perform in another gorgeous setting with some amazing performers (Dionne Figgins choreographer, Daniel Watts writer, Mike & Tiffany Evariste and Ashley Blanchett) but I get to see my baby love after months of not seeing him?? Okay God, you're just showing off now!
MEANWHILE...my bank account is slowly dwindling, and threatening to take my joy along with it. (the thorn in the rose bouquet)

After the straight up MAGICAL week of Idaho, performing this DOPE concert, taking names, enjoying the mountains with my boo, and frolicking in the beauty of Mother (Nature), I return to NYC clenching to the joy and peace I had from Idaho. But as the train literally crash landed at LGA (with a hard THUD) all my peace I was holding scattered like marbles all over the plane seat and I was abruptly reminded that I was BACK IN NYC BISH!! Almost immediately I was thrown back into the neurotic hustle of the city, getting into a slight altercation with my taxi driver, and holding back my rage with people who had ZERO spatial awareness as I struggled with my luggage.

That week, my managers lined up 3 auditions and I set up a job interview and prepared for my apartment move. The day of my two auditions and apartment move, the reality of the hustle that I was in crashed down on me. A tidal wave of emotions took over me and I wept and silently hyperventilated on the train ride from audition #1, sobbed on the bus ride from one apartment to the next with my luggage, cried bitterly in the park outside of my second audition, and was numb by the time I completed my second trip from Williamsburg to Crown Heights. Here I am in my thirties, lugging my life on a city bus, and running from one audition to the next, trying to land my next place to live and next gig. All I could think of was my friend's IG posts ("just booked a Broadway show! God is so good! #bookedandblessed" " My third bundle of joy in the oven! #familyfirst" "I said yes"#lastnamescombined2019) WHAT TF MAN! Where is MY victory post? I just wanted a WIN. Just ONE little win, of receiving the keys to an apartment or signing the contract of a new show, or showing an engagement ring...funny enough, to be honest, I think I actually AM low key winning. Even though I don't have any IG posts to tell about it, or the bags under my eyes are deep and I just can't seem to find a selfie that expresses the vibrance of my future and excitement of my present. I am actually DOING the DAMB THING. Even though my bank account isn't at $500,000.00 YET, (Hell, can a sister get $5,000), I still feel like I'm in a magical magnetic place of creating and planting and watering my garden of the quality of life I dream of.

I'm recalibrating my GPS to where my Heart lives. I've lived in my mind for too long. My logic isn't matching with my highest Self right now. I'm returning to living from my heart. As Phil Good mentioned, my Heart Chakra is now my 1st chakra, as my lower 3 have rolled into it. I am learning to operate from there. So of course, after the last callback of the week, I would return to Bryant Park to frolic in the greenery and run into a friend, and then dance like a gypsy barefoot in the grass and find a bunch of hula hoops and jugglers to play with while a New Orleans band plays on stage. I felt so free! I danced like I was naked in my living room in public! I played with hula hoopers and jugglers, made a new friend from Germany, and felt a sense of freedom that I only remember from when I was 6 years old. I carried that feeling on the train back home and for the first time, I felt unconcerned by anything that was outside of me. I was buzzing with the energy of life force- charged by New Orleans music, play, dance and Earth.

At times I feel like life is magical and I am a fairy goddess mischievously playing with the energies around me and bopping from pleasure to pleasure like a bee to pollen. And other times, I have felt like a depressed, defensive hopeless hobo who lives under a bridge, bitterly watching the world pass by me.
But what I have learned is that both are okay...
...hm...not thats not right...
I've found that both or wrong...hmmm no, thats too dualistic.
I don't know how to end this blog...
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FIN

New Crib, who dis?

Well, I stuck it out.
I made it through the damn near 15 minute walk from the subway station every night.
I finally got semi comfortable with my hood...I actually started to feel apart of it.
The turning point was the West Indian day Parade. I was right in the "Splash Zone".
It was one thing to come home to my stoop to new faces smoking and chilling outside, when the summer night was right. But West Indian day Parade was when Crown Heights came alive to me, and I saw behind the veil.
There were two barrel grills, a tent, speakers playing across the street, and about 10 folks eating plates of food, beer and smoking. And my super was right in the middle of it all. I hesitantly got a plate of food but as soon as I sat on my stoop and started talking to my neighbors, something so beautiful happened, I felt a sense of home and belonging that only comes to me in Chicago. I felt that sense of community that I have been searching for. I stayed on my stoop eating delicious Carribbean food, refreshing beer and, vibing to Soca, reggae music as the sun set. The fires started lighting up and the night began to rise. I started to fall in love with Crown Heights or at least my block. Too bad I was moving in 3 days.

I had found my BedStuy home. After making my apartment search a temporary full time job, I finally came across the one. In the area that I wanted, in the type of apartment that I desired (with a washer and a dryer and dish washer!) and a roommate that I know was a God send. I found a unicorn (again)! I am so  grateful for the flow that I find myself in and I am working on staying in that FLOW.

Its amazing what your surroundings do to you, for you, as you. I also see the manifestations of focused visualizing and believing. Every time, I focus and believe and release to receive, things happen. Not only with my living situation but also with job opportunities. I'm learning to harvest/harness my power as a co creator. I feel so empowered but I also feel like I have no idea the amount of work that will be required to live in this flow.  Like a leap into the direction of the life I want to live. And I have to trust the forces that I have surrendered to (gravity, grace, and all those universal laws)

But I'm ready...more ready on certain days, less ready on others...
but over all...I'm ready.

Can you tell me how to get...how to get to Sesame Street?

I'm baaaaaaack in Brooklyn bishessssss!

I just finished an amazing run in Baltimore creating and opening a new musical called Soul:The Stax Musical! At first I felt a tiny tinge of guilt because I have been on the Motown train for so long (3.5yrs to be exact) but that guilt was short-lived. I am an artist and I cannot be tied down and do not BELONG to any show. I am simply the messenger...the vessel to live and tell the story...during the contract. So BOOM.
ANYHOO, Baltimore was the BOMB! I fell in LOVE with my cast and all my cast dreams came true. We were like a family. We understood each, we all hung out and got along--what a concept!  It also didn't help that Kwame, our director, set up the rehearsal process with opening and closing group circles, improv dance party-style warmups, and fostered a sense of togetherness throughout the rehearsal period. There was just so much love and realness in that cast, and as a girl from ChiTown, you know I love keeping it real. Its exhausting to fake the funk and pretend to be excited, traits that I find in musical theatre. I want my joy to be grounded and real AF. Plus my fake smile muscles are getting weaker each year.
I think a lot that had to do with the mix of the cast as well. There were people from NYC, LA, Baltimore and there were non-musical theater singers in the cast as well, who subscribe to a different vibe of work. It may not be as showy but it's honest and expressive, and those are qualities that I dig!
So Baltimore was great! The show was bomb, the audiences were awesome, the cast get togethers and bonfires and house parties were frequent, I was happy as a pig in slop! When the run ended, the heartbreak was real but so were the connections I made, and I knew I would be seeing these mofos again at some point so my grief was short-lived.

While I was in Baltimore, I had no apartment to get back to after the contract. So I searched remotely for an apartment once I returned in 3 months. I found a place in Crown Heights/BedStuy and after seeing pictures online and getting a FaceTime tour, I threw my security deposit to my future roommate, who I was vibing with and secured my new apartment for 3 months minimum.
*DEEEEEEP SIGH*

As the Lyft drives to my new apartment, my stomach drops.
All the super cute cafes and happy brownstone blocks disappear. The architecture changes to paneled homes, uninspired spaces and the repeated business pattern of Nail Salon/Chinese food/Beauty Supply/Dusty Deli. The pace of the people slows and the energy thickens. Men are congregated or mill around and no-one looks like me. My apartment is directly next to an abandoned building...*squints* no, its a new development. So gentrification is near...My heart sinks and then is, dare I say, hopeful.
Gentrification in my mind always meant pushing the Black people out of the community to make way for really nice businesses and homes for white people with more money...more money from systemized racism created from a model to keep people of color inferior economically yet continue to make fortunes OFF of the very people that are being oppressed...or something like that.
 My quest was to find a happy mix of those two factors. A gentrified yet cultural intact community. My last neighborhood was a funny, tense and entertaining balance of those things. There were sparkly new businesses and preserved brownstones that were still Black owned. There were hipsters and homies like water and oil coexisting, like a brew. That is exciting because you have the best of all the worlds.
My surrounding area now...simply put isnt CUTE...and I'm low key/high key pouty about it....No damnit, I'm mad! I was spoiled in Bedstuy and I was paying UNDER a $1000 for a dope Brownstone. Granted, I'm not paying too much more I have less money now and beggars can't be choosers...but I still want my cake and eat it too damnit! Why would you have cake if you're not going to eat it?? OR how do you even eat cake if you don't have it?? *deep breath*

I think the main issue is that the care of the neighborhood could be better. Why would you allow trash to gather outside of your place of residence? I remember seeing my neighbors sweep and collect trash that may have been blown out of the bags. There was a sense of pride in the way they upkeep the block and even how they carried themselves. How they greeted one another with a nod or a smile. Here, I get glares like I did something wrong or my existence is somehow a threat. True, there is no such thing as Sesame Street but DAMNIT there are some blocks that can come pretty damn close!