...on the water.
So I decided (against my intuition) to board ANOTHER cruise line...a different cruise line...NOT DISNEY cruise line...after a summer in Bedstuy...and after 3 months... October 6- to December 30, I have had enough. I was SA and dealt with forceful non-consensual touching, I was accidentally hit twice backstage by a stagehand who said inappropriate things to me while I was changing costumes. (side note: I experienced the most obnoxious ignoring from this guy and the other people from his country... peacocking back and forth within feet of me not saying a word...now that I think about it, maybe it was a mating dance...?). Then days after being SA, I was stalked by the same monster. It was late after a crew bar hang, so instead of going to my cabin, since he was on the elevator with me, I diverted to the dressing room backstage on dk 3. I saw that he got off the elevator on the backstage theatre floor as well so I ran into the dressing room and locked the door behind me. Seconds later I heard the door knob wiggling to be opened!! This man was following me! I waited in the dressing room shaking until I heard a soft knock. It was my good friend one of the stagehands who I was just at the crew bar with and he softly asked if I was okay because he saw "that drunk man follow me into the dressing room". The next day I report the whole incident to HR & Security, I identify the guy on the cameras and as I'm coming back with security escort to get off the ship for air, I see the man during the daytime being escorted to security. We locked eyes for a second and my blood ran cold.
When I returned to the ship after getting some air, HR called me to check on me. I missed it by one ring bc I was in the bathroom but it took me forever to find the number of HR to call back. I called crew relations, they directed me to the wrong numbers and every single person I asked for HR number was irritated with my question and asked me WHY I needed the number, except the Hotel Director. Why was it so difficult to get in touch with HR??? Finally I got the number and when I spoke with him, 1. he called me by the wrong name 2. He"reassured" me that if the guy approaches me again to call 911 3. He directed me to call **00 for emotional support. WHAT?? I was literally SA and stalked by a man on the ship and you tell me to call 911 if it happens again, you hear that I'm terrified so you direct me to an operator to calm down, AND you call me by the WRONG NAME (Melissa), then laugh it off and say oops I mean Allison....I literallly have the processing ball over my head rn because...WHAT???
Then I'm called to Chief Security and they tell me that "its handled and I don't have to worry about seeing him again". Mind you, this is after I enter the room and the female security guard slams the door in my face and reluctantly hands me a ROLL OF INDUSTRIAL PAPER TOWELS when I start crying again and the chief asked her to get a tissue for me. What do you mean "its Handled"? Did you KILL HIM?? Did you just tell him to "leave me alone?" This gives me NO assurance or security...like WHAT??
THEEEEN, I'm texted by my manager to call the cruise director. The same CD who called me to a meeting because one of the singers felt threatened by my giving her corrections AS THE VOCAL CAPTAIN...He advised me "make her feel more welcome and unfortunately this is a babysitting situation". YOU COW, I am not an adult babysitter to a paid adult!! I was so offended!! I have never been babysat in my entire life during a job that I was PAID to do. In Chicago Children;s Choir, we werent paid but we were expected to correct our mistakes and sing IN TUNE! Our director would have every singer sing individually to find out WHO was the person who was FLAT. In kenwood Academy concert, we were expected to correct our mistakes and sing in TUNE. Sometimes we had things THROWN at us. In undergrad, I learned vocal technique to sing in tune- to support the voice. In all of my professional jobs, I auditioned and was cast in jobs where I was expected to sing IN TUNE and when the dancer captain or director gave us notes, we wrote them down on paper or our notes app, TOOK the note and said THANK YOU. THANK YOU for giving us correction so we can sharpen our skills and be BETTER at what we do. But HERE, I am advised to make this woman "feel welcome" and "babysit" her. What an insult. So! That's a little backstory with my relationship with the CD.
So the next time I'm called into his office, this is during this whole security safety incident. and I tell my manager, I'm still traumatized and need a little time to gather myself. An hour passes and I get another text from him saying I NEED to call him ASAP. My question is, if you know someone from your team was traumatized, why not call them to check on them? HR did it, in their terrible way/ Security office did it. Yet you dont have the decency to. So I drag myself into his office with my manager as witness, because I DONT want to be in an office solo with a man I barely know days after I've been SA. I get there and he advised that my manager leave unless I want him to know about the incident. After my manager leaves, he informs me that the aggressor was a contractor and is confined to his room with security outside. WHY DIDNT SECURITY JUST TELL ME THAT???? instead of "its been handled" . After he shares this information with me, I break down again! Omg he doesn't even GO here, who knows what he could have gotten away with. Did he even get a background check? I literally keel over and crying. Here's where it gets crazy. As I'm shaking and weeping, he grabs me by the wrist, pulls me out the chair, pulls me into his chest and tells me to "be strong", "don't think to much about it", "tomorrow is a new day"......
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. from that moment. something inside me dies. the trust and faith I had in humanity. the remaining bit of safety and support I have with this company. a little part of my innocence. I need to GET OFF this BOAT. ASAP.
DEEP EXHALE...so I thug it out for one more week...and the same types of minor offenses are pouring in like water, the band director loudly interrupting me everytime I speak, its almost like he hates that I am hear and wants to wipe me out with his voice, the lack of responding and dismissing with my other managers when I need to schedule rehearsal time with the singers, the singers questioning and pushing back on anything I share with them, and as I watch the shows, I realize, this isn't edifying me as an artist. Of course, it aint Broadway, but it ain't something that really excites me...meaning the people are literally just doing the thing. No passion to express, no connection with the audience. It literally looks like moving paper dolls. or moving Barbies...the kind whose knees don't bend and the ones that arent smiling. I look to my left and right and I see completely disassociated people...but I also can't look away...
